The Long Flight Out…

The flight attendants are just starting on their routine. This must be it. Now is when i’m supposed to say to myself “Here we go!” and look eagerly forward to my life ahead. Why do i feel so nervous? I mean, this is the not so tough part of the journey. One of the two airports has been dealt with, and i think i’ve done fairly well so far. Lots of lost doe eyed expressions, and nearly dead with panic moments, but no hitches as such. Everyone was so nice and helpful. I wonder if they are used to seeing my kind of people – people who check, double check, check a few more times, and then check once more to see if they’ve taken everything, and if everything is where its supposed to be, easily accessible, outer pockets of bags, and/or jacket pocket, only to repeat the entire process after about 3 mins – and yet, at the crucial moment, forget where they kept what and fumble, blush furiously, experience a sudden flooding back of memory and produce all necessary documents. Well, they were very patient, so i’m guessing they must’ve seen plenty of people like me. But now all that tension is behind me, well, at least for a little while. Maybe i should distract myself from the fact that at the end of the flight is another airport waiting to swallow me whole. I shouldn’t need distraction from something like that. I mean, what kind of a person needs to be distracted from being at an airport. A phobia with no basis for it at all. Wait a minute, that’s redundant; a phobia IS irrational by definition, so no point saying “a phobia with no basis.” Its like saying water that makes you wet. Hmm..i wonder if there’s a name for it, for this airport phobia. Should google it sometime and find out. Anyway, its not like its the crowd that bothers me, altho yeah that’s also there. But i don’t know. Every time i say it even to myself, i can feel the silliness of it and yet there’s nothing i can do about it. It took me so many flights to get used to the domestic airport rituals. But then that’s no comfort at all…its not like i’m gonna be flying internationally like this very often, probably once a year. I wonder if i’ll miss my family. For now i just wish someone was with me so they could deal with the airports while i cower along behind them. Oh! Do try and not be so stupid about things. You dealt with one airport, you can deal with another. Time you stopped cribbing about it. Hmm…i mean, i have lived away from home, for a few years too at that, so shouldn’t that make it easier for me to deal with being on my own again. But then of course being in another country is whole another story. What will i do? on my own. Will i be able to make friends? Will i be all alone? I wonder if people will ignore me, or be extra curious cuz i’m from India. I wonder if people actually ask about elephants and snake charmers. Probably not. Silly me. But seriously, i do wonder what i’ll do there for company. Sure i have a few friends there and stuff, but you know, they’re not gonna be where i am, and they are not gonna come down for me specially to make me feel at home and/or settle in. oh Crap! Orientation, choosing my courses, meeting faculty…would i need to? How does the system work? Damn it! I don’t know anything! What am i going to do?! ok. ok. I need to calm down. That’s still a couple of days ago. Plenty of time later to panic about that. Maybe i should ask them for a drink. Maybe i should ask them for a few drinks. Get high and generally sleep. What am i gonna do for the next 17 hours anyway. I wish i’d brought some other book instead of Life of Pi. Reading about a journey while on a journey seemed like such a great idea in theory but seeing as i’ve read that book at least thrice, i should have considered the possibility of me not being in the mood for it. Maybe i should switch on the laptop. Scribble something up. Who knows, might amount to a blog post.

One thought on “The Long Flight Out…

  1. i am a nervous flier too. i mean what if the pilot has a sense of humour?

    i liked this space. if only you used paragraphs. will make it so much easier for us. but i am sure you are stubborn that way. ah.

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